| Im fine.. |
[03 Sep 2009|03:54pm] |
I know it's been a while since I have updated, but I am not sure why I had the urge to update now of all days. Maybe it's because I am getting into the swing of things as I now start my second year of college. Hard to believe I been here a year and things have changed. But then again a lot has changed with my friends and I. Everything that we went through changed us physically, mentally and emotionally. I still have nightmares of what happened back then, but only Shelly would know that I have horrific dreams of back then. We are more like sisters because of that, and the fact we grew up together. I am not sure why I am thinking about the past. Maybe because what I have gone through over the past year was enough to make me go stir crazy. But I hope that this year will be a bit better than last year.
But what I was not expecting was having a birthday party a month ago. Shelly's and my roomie Rikki planned the whole party without us knowing and was pretty sneaky if I do not say so myself. It was a pretty fun party and I got to chat with new people and my old friends. Though I do feel bad aboout treating Hannah's boyfriend the way I did, but I still have issues with talking to him though I do appologize, Hannah. A lot has changed since... well those who know us know the reason. Despite all that, I was happy that I had a party. Maybe Shelly and I will get one next year.
Private to close friends
i would say that I am fine, but I think those of you who know me really well will probably say that I still look like a deer caught in headlights. Since that whole stalker ordeal last year, my phone remains turned off unless I have to keep it on for a specific reason. I dont want to experience that again, but I am not banking my chances. I have been very cautious around most people and that is probably why I treated Draco the way i did. I am tired of being treated with disrespect, and while I would normally have laughed it off, the past year has done more than just change who I am. It's made me into a person who is scared all the time and I don't like it. My own father doesn't even know that I got caught by the stalker and is now walking around campus like someone is watching me, too afraid to do much of anything. My only question is: Will I be okay? I am not sure, but I hate being scared for my life and having occuring nightmares of that night pop in my head at random times and have a meltdown. I can only hope that time will make me better, but who knows really...
End Private
I... need to clear my head. I'll be somwhere on the quad. Let's hope I don't have another meltdown...
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